What Are The Odds?

$hi# always happen to me. I can see it coming a mile away. In San Francisco, I order a drink at the hotel bar. The bartender tells me they just ran out one second ago and have to go to the basement to get my Jamesons. OK I’ll wait 15 minutes. When I order at a restaurant, the waiter brings everyone their food. I can see by the look in his eyes, he’s forgotten to put in my order. My food arrives 45 minutes later. I’ve been selling my old DVDs online at a site called Glyde. When you sell one, they send you an envelope. You just place the DVD that got bought into the envelope and send. Stamps included. Real easy. It’s just that my envelopes never show up. I’m always sending e-mails for help. I’m lost in the system somewhere. Why always me? My elaborate watercolor paintings are all done on 10 X 14 inch Canson cold press watercolor blocks. I’ve grown very fond of the size. I recently found out they just discontinued making them in that size. “You have to be kidding me.” I can’t get them in any art store or anywhere online for that matter. They just don’t exist in the world anymore. I’m doomed. There are other kinds of blocks but the paper has too much texture and it’s hard to draw on them. I tried smaller ones but the size is just not right and bigger sizes are just too big. I can’t make enough detail to satisfy my drawing style. This is a big problem for me. I may have to retire. This was my last piece of paper I had left. I did this in London during Hurricane Sandy. Why me? Why me? Why me? Maybe it’s the sign taped to my back, that reads, kick me.